Eyes Wide Shut



So I’m going to take you back to last year.  More specifically June 2016.  This story will have 3 to 4 parts in all leading up to current time.  I’m starting with this because in order for you to understand me (the NOW me) you need to peer into all that has happened in the last year.  Keep in mind this was written during the time it was all happening and not for the purpose of this blog.

So, to understand the full story please make sure to read the concurrent counterparts.  

So here it goes…

(The me then) I’m so beyond hurt by the actions of some of the closest people to me. Now I don’t typically tell people my personal business on Facebook or at all for that matter but I’m insanely overwhelmed and stuck in a sinking hole of disbelief at the moment. I feel as though my entire life, I have tried to do nothing selfishly.  Not that I’m perfect by any means but I have certainly given it my all, most of the time anyway. For those that know me well you might agree that I’ve endured almost every impossible and terrifying situation from a very very young age. I learned from all of it….moved forward…didn’t harbor the hatred or anger, I don’t blame anyone else for any of it and most of all I turned out a good person capable of making decisions and knowing the vast difference between what’s right and what’s wrong. I have a huge heart and I know this because everything I do I think of how it will affect the people around me…..and I’m happiest when I’m helping or making someone else happy. I try my hardest to teach my children to live by this as well. It is for all of this combined that I believe I’m so hurt by these people’s actions. I have an extremely small number of select people in the world that I can truly say I trust and know would be there for me no matter what. That number has just gone down less 2. These people have done the unthinkable because what people really fail to see is the real chain of fall out from a single hurtful action. Example: You do one really hurtful thing and generally several more drag behind as residual. So when you do several very very hurtful things those can take down everything in or near its path including children involved.  Even when your intention was never meant to cause that kind of chaos.  Guess what?  It ALWAYS will, cause that kind of chaos that is.

I’m not going to go into detail of how badly some of my own have treated myself and my direct family but I will say it’s not so much the material things, money or loss. I think the 2 things that have destroyed me the most is the fact that someone this close to us could lie, steal, cheat and manipulate but biggest of all take away and destroy every memory, photo, video, document, password, recipe, gift card, all important back ups, notes and medical records regarding my Multiple Sclerosis and other health info etc…. All of it gone forever without a trace.  All physical memories related to my two youngest children’s lives and YES even my back ups are destroyed…and when you have MS these memories are invaluable, they tend to fade so easily from your mind no matter how hard you fight to maintain them.   All this caused by the overwhelming desire to be in control and gain undeserved money.  The really devastating part is that all this had a small value to these people equivalent to GREED!

 Part 2 coming soon

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